Mental Health Day for Mothers

I remember when I was working full time and sometimes I would take a “mental health day”.  It wasn’t very frequent because I was a teacher and honestly if you’re a teacher then you know that taking a day off is sometimes far more exhausting than just dragging yourself in to work because subs are constantly fucking shit up, they can’t control your classroom, and your room looks like a tornado blew through when you show up the next day. 

On the mental health days I did take (those rare things when I was so messed up I couldn’t function whatsoever let alone in front of a classroom) I would basically sit in front of the television and watch TBS and eat Ben and Jerry’s. 

As a mom, things would be different.

As a mom, your brain isn’t engaged all the time like when you’re teaching.  You’re actually engaged on a lower intellectual level than you’d like to be.  AND you’re strained physically.  You’re also having a LOT less sex.

So for a mother, as a mother, this is what a mental health day would look like to me:

1.  A hot bath as soon as I wake up in the morning.  This would last until the water was pretty much cold.  I might put some strawberries in the tub and eat them while they floated around me.

2.  Masturbation all over the bed.  At least ten orgasms.  Then rest.  Then a few more orgasms.  Rest. 

3.  Brush my teeth.  Put on yoga pants and a t-shirt.

4.  Eat an entire bar of chocolate.

5.  Read a book that has been sitting there for possibly years – a book I really want to read but can’t.

6.  Masturbate some more.

7.  Stare at the internet.

8.  Order a whole fucking pizza all for myself.

9.  Listen to music sans interruptions.

10.  Go to bed whenever I damn well please.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s