I spent the weekend with my parents.
My mother managed to say only one that that was completely offensive and only a few things that were completely republican so it was a pretty great weekend.
I also heard back from my therapist, who I wrote to about The Ex and all the shit surrounding that.
She told me I could spent years in therapy or I could fuck the Ex and start healing right away.
The only problem is his wife and the shame factor.
But I don’t know.
She said she’s had sex with two women but she isn’t bisexual because she’s only attracted to women, she doesn’t want relationships with them – romantic ones, that is. I feel so behind. I feel like I missed out completely on my twenties and the rest of the world had these experiences I’m never going to have. I feel like so many things were snatched from that time in my life.
Ed is being amazing.
I don’t even know how to describe the immense fucking power of our relationship.
Through this whole thing it’s only grown stronger. The sex is fantastic. Everything about it is fantastic. And I feel so damned progressive and then I find out that pretty much everyone around me is more progressive and experienced than me. It’s just… weird.
I’m not sure how to describe it.
But I also feel like I’m going new places as a person – progressing. It makes me so scared to die. There is so much more I want to do and learn before I leave this world. I want to live forever. Just in case there is no eternity.