Ed Loses his Job

Ed lost his job.

Yeah.  Laid off.

Not sure if we can even collect unemployment so the bread line thing is a very real possibility.  I don’t even know.

We just figured shit out and now this.

Now we’re back to square one.

I just want to be in a place where I can go to the movies and sometimes pick up the tab when my friends and I go to lunch.  I don’t know.  There are things that just… piss me off.

Of course at church we’ve been talking about finances and worry.  I’m trying not to worry, and truth is, I’m not worried, I’m fucking terrified.  Everything seems small compared to this.  What about the kids and the kind of life we’re going to make for them?  What about THAT?  My dad is talking about how food and shit need to be my priority over making sure the kids get their ballet lessons, but I can’t help feeling like complete and total shit about it.

Last night Ed and I had a knock down drag out and basically I threatened to leave.

Not because I want to leave.

I just want to… get out.

Get out of the situation.  Run away.  Explode.  I don’t know.  I don’t know.

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