The more I direct the more I realize that it is likely taking minutes off of my life.
It’s not that it’s not still rewarding. It is. But the pressure…the pressure is not. The time away from family is not. The sacrificing of my children’s activities for the show is not.
I used to be willing to sacrifice everything for the show. That isn’t the case anymore. I hate it more each time I have to say no to an activity, a banquet, a round of chess or checkers with them. No. It isn’t worth it now. Especially with Ed’s spectacular involvement in each production. This used to be something that brought us together, but now, with the kids, it is something that keeps us apart. There is something to be said for solo activities, but the way my mind deals with directing – it’s like I have a third child. One with a severe condition that requires more constant care. I don’t have time for this right now. I can’t continue to sacrifice my family to Dionysus.